Her ankle was broken, and it was all my fault. I was a camp counselor near Crater Lake, Oregon. We had gone for a hike in the woods. We didn’t go near the Rogue river, it was too dangerous. Instead we hiked to the Mammoth Sugar Pine. It had been 68 meters tall and 300 years old when I was there as a baby. Now the tree had fallen but was 2 meters high laying down! We had fun climbing the massive log and taking photos. I teased some girls who were sitting on the log, pulling them down despite their protests. A counselor we called Twinkle fell in a pile of kids and could not get up. Her ankle was broken.
We brought the kids back to camp while Twinkle rode several hours to a hospital for surgery. Her summer as a camp counselor was over. How could I have been so stupid? At campfire that night a little girl asked me, “Why did you break Twinkle’s leg?” It was all my fault and I felt terrible.
I pleaded with God to forgive me. The next day as I was praying and reading my Bible, God spoke to me using Psalm 51 where David writes, “Wash me… cleanse me from my sin… Wash me and I shall be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness.” Yes God, I feel so guilty. “Let the bones that you (God) have broken rejoice.” Wow! God showed me that even though I had done something wrong, He took responsibility for the result, the broken bones. What a relief! This psalm David wrote when God confronted him for taking Bathsheba and murdering her husband. That had nothing to do with broken bones. But God knew I needed to hear this.
He goes on to say, “Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquities.” Yes, please God. “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” Yes, God. “Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me.” David had seen the disaster in the life of his predecessor, King Saul, who disobeyed God but never admitted his guilt. God left Saul, who lived haunted and paranoid, ending his life in despair and suicide.
“Restore to me the joy of your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit, then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you.” Psalm 51:10-13 There is tremendous joy in knowing that God has forgiven you. “Sinners” describes all of us, we are all guilty. The key is to “return” to God. That has become my passion in life too, to help other guilty people return to the God who forgives. -DP
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